You’ve all met a person who’s a loser. Some people like the word and some people don’t but who really cares. Losers exist so deal with it. Worse yet, you may be one without even knowing it. My job is not to shame you if you are a loser; my job is to inspire you to change.
What is a loser?
For the purpose of this blog post it’s someone who has done the following:
• Given up on life
• Wants to talk down other people’s dreams
• Get’s jealous over dumb stuff
• Has zero purpose or reason for living
• Doesn’t show love to the world
• Makes you feel demotivated and uninspired
What makes me qualified to talk about losers?
I was a loser, so I know what it’s like to be one intimately. I slept in and found it hard to face the day. I drank way too much alcohol to try and numb the pain. I didn’t do myself any favors with the opposite sex. I watched a lot of TV and ate the worst food that you could possibly consume.
I had no passion, no dream and no purpose in life. I was a deadbeat loser.
How are losers created?
No one is born a loser. Losers are created when a person experiences a major failure or hits rock bottom. We all have had this happen to us in life, but a loser is born when he or she can’t get back up again and allows circumstances to define their future.
Losers are created when they become overly negative and have nothing positive in their life. This mindset is created through a lack of gratitude and appreciation for what they do have. Selfishness becomes the dominant way of living and everyone else is the problem in their eyes.
Losers stop taking responsibility for their life and decide to do nothing.
Life can change in a moment when you make a better decision. It’s this decision-making ability that allows someone to go from being a loser to being a champion.
Here is what you should avoid if you want never to become a loser or stop being a loser:
1. The news
Those flashy headlines that steal your attention away from what matters are making you a loser. Most traditional news is exaggerated rubbish that makes people fear the world and fear each other. The news makes us all look at each like we’re terrorists. Choose love, not fear.
2. Bad dress
No one’s saying you need to wear Versace every day. Dressing sharp though demonstrates that you have respect for yourself and how you appear to others. Regardless of what most books say, first impressions count and how you physically appear is part of that. Swag it out.
3. Lack of self-control
Being in control is being disciplined. Losers let temptation lead them down a dark and weary road and then get robbed of all of their most valuable personality traits. Being in control is about having your mind in check. Your mind controls what you think, so you better master it.
When you have the chance to get smashed and drink too much, decide to have one glass of wine instead. When all your friends are complaining about their day and hurling abuse at each other, decide to leave the conversation or not follow their lead.
If someone cuts you off in traffic, avoid tooting your horn and brush it off like it’s nothing. The best way I can describe self-control is non- reactivity. It’s about not reacting to all the bad stuff that shows up every day. By practicing this habit, you avoid being a loser and take back control of the horsey’s reigns.
4. Too much time spent on the problem
If I had to describe business in two words, it would be “solving problems.”
Losers spend way too much time being pissed off by the problem rather than moving into the positive state of mind and getting on with building the solution. Focusing on the problem is generally done through storytelling. Losers tell made up stories to themselves and those around them about the problem.
This storytelling takes up a lot of time and sucks away all the energy that could be channeled into coming up with the solution. I like to use the 80/20 rule when it comes to solving a problem: spend 20% of your time focusing on the negative and 80% focusing on the positive.
5. Zero confidence
Having no confidence repels everyone away from you. Even during tough times, you have to remain confident and have faith in everything working at.
Losers don’t back themselves and are not confident. This then shows up in their passion and their results. They then mask this phenomenon by blaming, telling false stories and being angry.
“Not having confidence is a vicious cycle that becomes a catalyst in the disease that is losermanship (this is not a real word, I made it up and am confident you will find it acceptable)”
6. No purpose
What creates a loser more than anything is a lack of purpose. It doesn’t matter what it is; you have to have a reason for your life. Even if you haven’t exactly figured that out yet, you must have an interim purpose. Link each day to something that inspires you and helps others.
No one was born with a purpose; we all create one out of thin air based on our passion and confidence in who we are. Not having a driving force is depressing. This negative state of living makes us unhappy. Once you start being consistently unhappy, you pick up other negative elements like a magnet.
7. A belief that you deserve more
Losers think they should get more than they currently have. What you have is the result of the current action you’ve taken. You don’t deserve more unless you earn it and create value for someone or something. There are no shortcuts and you’re not about to get lucky pal! The government doesn’t owe you squat. Your workplace doesn’t owe you jack. Your friends don’t owe you anything.
If you don’t like where you’re at and what you have then make a change. Change happens when you decide to stop being a loser and take ownership for who you are and what you want to become.
8. Gambling instead of investing
Losers gamble and go to casinos or play the lottery. Losers bet the house on cryptocurrency because someone told them the price is going to skyrocket and they’re going to get rich. Losers think they’re smart when it comes to the game of luck. Losers play the short game which is based on winning quickly and a belief that they’re smarter than the average person.
You can avoid a degree in losermanship by playing the long game, getting educated, investing in what you know, diversifying your risk and learning from people who are smarter than you. Success, fame and money are not achieved overnight.
9. Being relentlessly selfish
Losers do the opposite of winners. Losers are relentlessly selfish and only care about themselves. They do not serve others and their model of the world is flawed. Trying to always get more for yourself takes away something from someone else.
Where you want to get to is trying to get more by giving more. Sounds counter-intuitive, but that’s how the universe works. Not everything is logical at first. Life can be a bit of a puzzle sometimes. That’s what makes it so fulfilling to solve.
10. Chasing material objects
Losers chase dumb, shiny objects that impress people who have no spine. A car made from a chunk of metal or a house made of bricks will never give you anything in the long term. Don’t be like a dog chasing a flashing frisbee because it lights up your eyes for a few brief moments.
Light up the world instead with your own light which will shine brightly when you discover who you are and how you can serve others.
11. Being obsessed with job titles
Losers think that made up labels matter. A label is something that is handed out like the dole cheque every fortnight. You don’t have to own any label if you don’t want to. Better yet, you can create whatever label you want for yourself.
I believe that losermanship is created by an individual. I also believe we can change anything we want once we notice how we’re living. The purpose of this article is not to poke fun at losers or impress you with the word loser. The purpose of this article is to help you become self-aware of what you may be doing wrong or could improve on.
My goal in life is to inspire you to live with passion and do something meaningful with your life. I know you can do something awesome, so it’s time to show us all!
If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net