Have you ever been stuck and not know what to do in life? Are you staying up late trying to run the scenarios through your head? Are you caught in an endless argument with you, yourself and your other self?
Maybe it has to do with your job, maybe with your finances, maybe with your business or even your relationships. Dilemmas can be small like deciding what to wear, or they can be big like deciding whether to sell the company or declare bankruptcy.
You’ve got a headache trying to resolve your dilemmas, and you won’t get any answers if you are still stuck in the same way of thinking. All you need is a different approach.
Here are 8 techniques to dissolve your dilemmas and make deliberate decisions:
1. Ask yourself: “What am I aiming to accomplish?”
When you aren’t clear with your destination, any road will lead you there. What are you aiming to accomplish? When you are clear with what you want to accomplish, your mind and actions have more direction and impact. You need to be honest with yourself. “I aim to prove someone wrong” is very different from “I aim to do the right thing that will serve my clients best.”
2. Ask yourself: “What is the worst that can happen? What’s needed to recover?”
Sometimes we blow things out of proportion. We are so filled with FEAR – False Expectations Appearing Real. When you come back to reality, in truth, what really is the worst that can happen? In the remote chance this worst scenario happens, what will need to be done to recover from this scenario? Given the risks, if this is something you are willing to go through, then go for it!
“Don’t spend a lot of time imagining the worst-case scenario. It rarely goes down as you imagine it will. And if by some fluke it does, you will have lived it twice.” – Michael J. Fox
3. Make a Provisional Decision
You will never have ALL the information you will ever need. Courage is making a decision with the information you have at the time. Move forward by taking that one step … and be okay re-calibrating later.
Jack Canfield says that when a plane takes flight, it is off-course 99% of the time. Despite this, the plane is able to move forward. This is due to the pilot understanding there is enough space to re-calibrate the flight to reach the destination safely.
4. Consider the 7th Generation
You can get too caught up with your own concerns, and yet, some decisions involve not just you. It may have a lasting impact for many more people, and many generations to come. How about other people who are affected by the decision. What is the impact to them?
Moreover, what could be the impact on their children and grandchildren? There is a “7th Generation” philosophy to think beyond your current concerns. How will today’s decision affect the 7th Generation? Considering this will help you make a decision that goes well beyond your current concerns.
5. What would your Adviser do?
When you’re too close to the dilemma, you’re too caught up with our own muddled perspective. You need to take the perspective of a neutral respected party who has less emotional attachment to the situation.
Who is one person you respect and you look up to? Let’s call that person your Adviser. This Adviser can be a person you know personally – a teacher you admired, an uncle you look up to, or a mentor at work. The Adviser can be someone you know from a distance: Ellen Degeneres, Martin Luther King, Wayne Dyer, Steve Jobs. You get the picture.
If you take your Adviser’s perspective, what would your adviser say about your situation/dilemma? How would your adviser approach this challenge differently? Think about it.
“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” – Brene Brown
6. Your Younger self, Your Older self – what would they tell you?
As we grow older, more negative beliefs creep into our mind because of trauma, a bad experience, or rejection. Sometimes we need to listen to the child we used to be. This idealistic, courageous child who could do anything if he put his heart into it. What would that brave child tell you?
How about your 80-year-old self? Imagine yourself at the age of 80? What would you be doing, how would you be living? How would your 80-year-old self approach your dilemma? What would he want you to have been brave about? What would he want you to be caring or loving about?
7. Be Your Best Self
Go to the time when you are being your best self, and imagine yourself there. Where would you be? Would you be travelling the world? Would you be creating something in your studio? Would you be in front of an audience?
Imagine being your best self for a moment. As you’re being your best self, how would you as your best self approach this dilemma? How differently would you see this problem, how differently would you create a solution and decide?
8. Come from Love
Sometimes decisions are made out of fear or ego. Decide to come from Love because good decisions are made from good information, yet great decisions are made from love. What is the most loving thing to do for yourself, your loved ones and for other people impacted by the decision. In addition, think about the long term effects of this decision.
What is the most loving way to make decisions? Make them from love, and after you’ve made a decision, take action. Go!
How do you dissolve your dilemmas? Share your techniques by commenting below.
Image courtesy of Twenty20.com